Only Ladies Need Apply: 

1) Please describe your hands. (If they are soft and chubby with no hint of a day’s work please throw this questionnaire away immediately and do not ever call me!)

2) Do you have a job? If so please describe. (No, working for your ex does not qualify as a job and will make me run for the hills)

3) Do you live with your parents? If not, please describe (briefly) your living situation (roommates, apartment/house. If living with ex-boyfriend please throw this questionnaire away immediately and do not ever call me!)

4) Are you homeless/living in your car? (Refer to 3 if living with ex. and follow the instructions provided)

5) Do you dance? Yes or No and if so will you dance with me?

6) Do you ride a Motorcycle, and is it yours?

7) How long have you been RIDING?

8) Please briefly list some of your favorite musical genres

9) Please briefly list some of your favorite movies

10) Please fill in the blank: “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a ____”

11) Do you get along with your family?

12) Do you like camping with your boyfriend?

13) Do you play video games? (If so how many hours of the day? How many online gaming subscriptions do you currently have?)

14) Do you have any male friends? (If so have you slept with them and do they know you are no longer interested?)

15) What kind of porn do you like to watch?

16) Are you gay?

17) Have you ever cheated on a boyfriend?

18) Are you friends with any of your ex-boyfriends?

19) Do you have a beard, mustache, or other facial hair and if so do you wax, pluck, or shave it?

20) Do you cook?

21) Please describe your drinking habits?

21a) Do you Drink and RIDE??

22) If you get drunk would you rather:
                a. get in a bar fight
                b. fight with me
                c. take me home and get nekked
                d. other (please describe)

 23) Have you ever been to jail, prison, or any other penal facility other than as a visitor or employee? If so why, how long ago, and are you done with that for sure?

24) If I were sick or in pain what would be your response?

25) Can you do your own laundry, clean your own room, and buy your own groceries?

26) Do you have a need to frequent STRIP Clubs??

27) Are you afraid of a lifetime with one special man?

28) If I slip and tell you I love you before you have told me will you:
        a. run away
        b. sleep with my friends to make me run away
        c. keep me around until you find a new boyfriend
        d. honestly tell me how you feel about it and accept that because I feel that way doesn't mean you are obligated to.

29) Have you ever been hospitalized for a mental issue? Please describe.

30) Have you ever been to drug rehab?

31) What kind of DRUGS do you Take/Use?? Script or recreational??

32) Do strong minded and independent men:
        a. scare you
        b. turn you on
        c. make you feel like you have to beat them down

33) Who's orgasm is more important yours or mine, please explain in detail.

34) Do you still have contact with an X and WHY???

35) HOW MANY HUSBAND-IN LAWS WILL I HAVE??

36) Finally, IF BY CHANCE YOU GOT THIS FAR..LOL.. please list 5 personal references.

Congratulations on completing the first step in trying to date me. Should your application be accepted the next step will be to provide me with proof of a valid drivers license, current clean medical checkup verification including sexual health.